I read M. Kennedy's 'Pep Talk' earlier today and blithely thought 'I'm not having trouble thinking of things to write' - but now I've sat down to it; actually, I'm not full of ideas.
I've been looking at my stats recently and I am saddened by the number of people who come to my site by searching for information about portacaths. So many of them stop by and read a few pages and then disappear without commenting. And to each one of them I want to be able to say 'I'm so sorry' that you're in a situation where you need a portacath. I don't want people to have to go through the kinds of things I went through andI wish you would say something so I could know something about you - because otherwise my imagination fills in the blanks.
I 'met' another BC blogger today - Laurie - and I flicked through a few pages at the start of her blog when I wasn't working today. And, as so often, reading her diagnosis story reduced me to tears. And I was interested that she, like me, had written a post about what and what not to say to someone with cancer. I suppose it's not that surprising - it is hard to say the right thing and sometimes there isn't a right thing; but.....interesting. As I say to people I meet who've had breast cancer - I wish I didn't have this in common with you; I wish I hadn't met you because I wish that neither of us had had to go through what we have. But we have. And I'm very grateful to Kim for her comments and her insistance that I am a strong person. I find it hard to see that because I'm the one wallowing in my own head; and I am wallowing at the moment, I am overwhelmed by myself and lost in myself. I'll get out of it - I think Elaine's hope is rubbing off on me; I really do believe I will - but I think it's going to take a while.