Doh! Doh! Doh!
I've buggered up my sock *twice* today, *twice* I tell you!
First I overknitted the heels - 42 rows instead of *22* (I thought it was looking a *bit* odd....)
And now knitting the gusset (*hate* that word - yak!) I've decreased every round instead of every other round.....this may be a lesson in
a) read the instructions and
b) follow the instructions once you've read them please
Arghy, arghy, argh!
Frogging for me this evening!!
Showing posts with label Knitting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Knitting. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Grumpety grump
Hmm - grumpy old me this evening.
My birthday blood test looked like this:
Mother of all bruises - yes?
In good news, the bone strengthening tablets have been approved, so no more Pamidronate drips and therefore only a bloodtest every 3 weeks - which up until now have been mostly uneventful. This was a deep vein and despite me pressing down on it for *ages* it still made this mess. I looked very dodgy when I forgot about it and rolled up my sleeve when out for dinner on my birthday evening!
In other grumps - I'm annoyed that I'm such a noble, rule-abiding and forgetful person. If I weren't then I wouldn't have arranged to both go out for lunch with a friend *and* take brownies bowling after church parade at the same time tomorrow afternoon. And therefore wouldn't be texting my friend to ask if we can do tea instead, persuading the Dear Other that he wants to come to a bowling alley for lunch since otherwise there will only be two adults for bowling and refilling and printing permission forms since the original ones were for going to the cinema and there are now a different collection time and place and I couldn't bring myself to not have the t's crossed and the i's dotted. I know things will most probably be fine and I will be fussing over nothing - but if something required someone going to the hospital in a hurry (bowling ball to the head?!) and the forms were wrong we'd be in a bit of a hole.
So now I have to be nice to parents and ask them to refill forms.
And I'm annoyed that if I'd *remembered* this was going on before last night then I would have checked the cinema listings and I wouldn't be trying to reschedule lunch etc etc.
And Jane - if you're reading this, *this is not your responsibility* - we all knew you were going to be away and should have sorted it out for ourselves! We're big girls (and supposedly qualified!).
So, I'll be watching bowling tomorrow since I don't think bowling with a lymphoedemic arm and hand is a sensible option....instead of meeting Sarah's new fellow and having Sunday lunch. Must tell her that now!
In other news, my recycled Sari silk yarn has finally arrived (although mine looks bluer in colour, which disappoints me.....). Some of it has been washed and is drying and some more needs to be done. I've read that that makes it softer for knitting with - plus it's got little bits of straw and the like in it and I'm hoping that washing will have removed some of that. My bathroom laundry airer is festooned with lovely yarn :) (this may make having a bath in the morning something of a challenge.....)
My birthday blood test looked like this:
Mother of all bruises - yes?In good news, the bone strengthening tablets have been approved, so no more Pamidronate drips and therefore only a bloodtest every 3 weeks - which up until now have been mostly uneventful. This was a deep vein and despite me pressing down on it for *ages* it still made this mess. I looked very dodgy when I forgot about it and rolled up my sleeve when out for dinner on my birthday evening!
In other grumps - I'm annoyed that I'm such a noble, rule-abiding and forgetful person. If I weren't then I wouldn't have arranged to both go out for lunch with a friend *and* take brownies bowling after church parade at the same time tomorrow afternoon. And therefore wouldn't be texting my friend to ask if we can do tea instead, persuading the Dear Other that he wants to come to a bowling alley for lunch since otherwise there will only be two adults for bowling and refilling and printing permission forms since the original ones were for going to the cinema and there are now a different collection time and place and I couldn't bring myself to not have the t's crossed and the i's dotted. I know things will most probably be fine and I will be fussing over nothing - but if something required someone going to the hospital in a hurry (bowling ball to the head?!) and the forms were wrong we'd be in a bit of a hole.
So now I have to be nice to parents and ask them to refill forms.
And I'm annoyed that if I'd *remembered* this was going on before last night then I would have checked the cinema listings and I wouldn't be trying to reschedule lunch etc etc.
And Jane - if you're reading this, *this is not your responsibility* - we all knew you were going to be away and should have sorted it out for ourselves! We're big girls (and supposedly qualified!).
So, I'll be watching bowling tomorrow since I don't think bowling with a lymphoedemic arm and hand is a sensible option....instead of meeting Sarah's new fellow and having Sunday lunch. Must tell her that now!
In other news, my recycled Sari silk yarn has finally arrived (although mine looks bluer in colour, which disappoints me.....). Some of it has been washed and is drying and some more needs to be done. I've read that that makes it softer for knitting with - plus it's got little bits of straw and the like in it and I'm hoping that washing will have removed some of that. My bathroom laundry airer is festooned with lovely yarn :) (this may make having a bath in the morning something of a challenge.....)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Pro-crastination
Stuff to do!! I've got stuff to do!
Am I doing it?
No!
Hahaha!
Why?
Dunno.
It would mean actually getting dressed and not sitting here at the computer.....and you would miss me. (that was an instruction btw)
Tomorrow is the leap year day - hmmmm, what shall I do? It's a bonus day - one ought to do something super surely......but no, I shall be having my pamidronate drip and Zoladex injection and thusly, feeling hot, hot, hot - and not in a good way. What a disappointment!
Would you like to see how the Cheshire Cat shawl is progressing?
Voila!:
Am I doing it?
No!
Hahaha!
Why?
Dunno.
It would mean actually getting dressed and not sitting here at the computer.....and you would miss me. (that was an instruction btw)
Tomorrow is the leap year day - hmmmm, what shall I do? It's a bonus day - one ought to do something super surely......but no, I shall be having my pamidronate drip and Zoladex injection and thusly, feeling hot, hot, hot - and not in a good way. What a disappointment!
Would you like to see how the Cheshire Cat shawl is progressing?
Voila!:
Monday, January 07, 2008
Filums and k-nitting
St Trinian's was fun; the twins were entertaining - the whole thing was entertaining. I mean, obviously it's not going to be the next earth-shattering film; but I was diverted and didn't start thinking 'when does this finish?', and that's always a good sign! T'was also nice to grab a bite to eat with a friend and watch a film where we both seemed to laugh at the same bits - always a pleasure, yes?
However, they didn't use the classic St Trinian's song, but somehow I've come away humming it all the same.......dastardly! (now those of you who know it are humming along - ha ha!)
Did you know......you can buy customised M&Ms? Astounding.
My lace knitting is going rippingly - as in, I've had to frog one line at least 3 times, because a previous one was wrong, so then I had to go back further. Things I have learnt so far:
1) This is vital - do not attempt lace knitting when you've come back from a fraught time in the chemosuite. The tension in you will transfer to your stitches and your knitting will be so tight it's unmovable. You will also make grand fuck-ups and have to frog it several times.
2) Duh! - like a recipe or exam questions - read the pattern line through *before* you even start knitting anything. When you make sense of how the next row fits with what you've already knitted you'll recognise more quickly when it's going wonky - as opposed to getting to the last repeat of the row and realising you've make a mistake in the *first* repeat.
3) Don't be lazy - count your stitches at the end of each row - sporadic counting will lead to much frogging.
4) Do *not* stop to answer the phone or speak to someone mid-row. You *think* you will remember where you'd gotten to, but you won't.
There are probably others - or there will be in due course. However it does proceed - not necessarily apace, but languidly.
However, they didn't use the classic St Trinian's song, but somehow I've come away humming it all the same.......dastardly! (now those of you who know it are humming along - ha ha!)
Did you know......you can buy customised M&Ms? Astounding.
My lace knitting is going rippingly - as in, I've had to frog one line at least 3 times, because a previous one was wrong, so then I had to go back further. Things I have learnt so far:
1) This is vital - do not attempt lace knitting when you've come back from a fraught time in the chemosuite. The tension in you will transfer to your stitches and your knitting will be so tight it's unmovable. You will also make grand fuck-ups and have to frog it several times.
2) Duh! - like a recipe or exam questions - read the pattern line through *before* you even start knitting anything. When you make sense of how the next row fits with what you've already knitted you'll recognise more quickly when it's going wonky - as opposed to getting to the last repeat of the row and realising you've make a mistake in the *first* repeat.
3) Don't be lazy - count your stitches at the end of each row - sporadic counting will lead to much frogging.
4) Do *not* stop to answer the phone or speak to someone mid-row. You *think* you will remember where you'd gotten to, but you won't.
There are probably others - or there will be in due course. However it does proceed - not necessarily apace, but languidly.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Diddly pom - peas
Clinic day yesterday - I've had an extra week off between cycles because of Christmas; I should have been there on Boxing Day, but since no-one else was going to be there I took the chance to have a 2 week break in Boston. Which was nice - but now I'm back. Blah.
So, at one point I lost my dad and thought I was going to have to go into the consultation on my own - which I've never done yet and don't ever want to. I don't think I'd manage to hold myself together on my own......he was still in Starbucks with no watch and thought I was coming to fetch him - I thought he was meeting me at the clinic. Moments of panic and no mobile phone signal for either of us but he, of course, used his nouse, noticed the time on his phone and came and found me. Phew! I did have to resort to a Lorazepam whilst I waited on my own though. Scary.
Anyway, side-effects are not judged to be bad enough to reduce the dosage yet - I'm glad about that, I don't want to reduce until we absolutely have to - I don't want to run out of time, if you see what I mean. Advice was lots of E45 - which I am doing, if a little haphazardly. My onc also said when I asked her about the whole mole thing that, yes, chemotherapy can cause changes in moles and especially their pigmentation......... would have been great if the Breast Care nurse had said this to me when I was in panic mode on the phone! Instead of claiming it was unlikely to be anything to do with it and go and see my GP. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. So, increased relief there.
Also, the lump in the lymph at the base of my neck is shrinking. It's what I'm calling petit pois sized - it's smaller than a regular pea and the onc joked that it was the size you'd send back in a restaurant..... I asked if there were any significance to that shrinking - which was jolly brave of me you should agree - and she said that generally with BC if it's shrinking in one place then it's usually having an effect elsewhere. So, it *could* be shrinking the lung and bone mets too. (Mind you, it also might not be, so no counting the chickens - I'm going to have another CT scan in the next month so she can take a look.)
So, goodish news. Hopefully this is working the way it's supposed to and hopefully it will continue to do so. Keep on keeping on as Dee said to me yesterday.
So, possible time to get up - I've spent the day in PJ's, knitting and now I'm off to see St Trinians with Sweet Camden Lass. We know two of the girls in it - the twins - and we're off to see what they've made of being 'movie stars'.......have to dress for that!!!
So, at one point I lost my dad and thought I was going to have to go into the consultation on my own - which I've never done yet and don't ever want to. I don't think I'd manage to hold myself together on my own......he was still in Starbucks with no watch and thought I was coming to fetch him - I thought he was meeting me at the clinic. Moments of panic and no mobile phone signal for either of us but he, of course, used his nouse, noticed the time on his phone and came and found me. Phew! I did have to resort to a Lorazepam whilst I waited on my own though. Scary.
Anyway, side-effects are not judged to be bad enough to reduce the dosage yet - I'm glad about that, I don't want to reduce until we absolutely have to - I don't want to run out of time, if you see what I mean. Advice was lots of E45 - which I am doing, if a little haphazardly. My onc also said when I asked her about the whole mole thing that, yes, chemotherapy can cause changes in moles and especially their pigmentation......... would have been great if the Breast Care nurse had said this to me when I was in panic mode on the phone! Instead of claiming it was unlikely to be anything to do with it and go and see my GP. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. So, increased relief there.
Also, the lump in the lymph at the base of my neck is shrinking. It's what I'm calling petit pois sized - it's smaller than a regular pea and the onc joked that it was the size you'd send back in a restaurant..... I asked if there were any significance to that shrinking - which was jolly brave of me you should agree - and she said that generally with BC if it's shrinking in one place then it's usually having an effect elsewhere. So, it *could* be shrinking the lung and bone mets too. (Mind you, it also might not be, so no counting the chickens - I'm going to have another CT scan in the next month so she can take a look.)
So, goodish news. Hopefully this is working the way it's supposed to and hopefully it will continue to do so. Keep on keeping on as Dee said to me yesterday.
So, possible time to get up - I've spent the day in PJ's, knitting and now I'm off to see St Trinians with Sweet Camden Lass. We know two of the girls in it - the twins - and we're off to see what they've made of being 'movie stars'.......have to dress for that!!!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Knit, knit, knit
Well, I finally took heart in hands and laid into Pocketina's yarn.
She said to me that it wasn't much so not to start on a big project. So, I decided to make a mini moebius neck warmer - no pattern - just a rectangle twisted and sewn. I used moss stitch - that's seed stitch to the Americans out there (I think).
The beginning was hilarious - because I couldn't work out how to get into the darn stuff - which was so beautifully twisted together. I've never knitted from a skein rather than a ball of yarn so that was rather messy (how *are* you supposed to manage it?!)
So, the results - the pictures are rather poor sadly - the light wasn't good enough:
This really doesn't do justice to how lovely the yarn is - very soft and quite stretchy too. I knitted with 12mm needles so it knitted up really quickly. It was yellow flecks in it and some faintly sparkly bits - so, all in all lovely and I'm very pleased with the result. I also look to have loads left, which I wasn't expecting, so I'm not sure what to do with the remainder (which sadly is a rather tangled mess now - it got out of hand and I'm not sure how to go about sorting it out....::sigh:: I foresee a lengthy job ahead.
Just to amuse, I shall show you the two different sizes on needles I've been using today:
The observant among you will spot the Addi Turbos - my first set. I am officially loving them. They are being used with Malabrigo lace yarn in Indigo to make Alice's Cheshire Cat Stole. Early days with plenty of opportunity to mess it up - hooray!!
BTW - the lump in my lymph system is now officially down-graded to petit-pois size. Also good, yes?
She said to me that it wasn't much so not to start on a big project. So, I decided to make a mini moebius neck warmer - no pattern - just a rectangle twisted and sewn. I used moss stitch - that's seed stitch to the Americans out there (I think).
The beginning was hilarious - because I couldn't work out how to get into the darn stuff - which was so beautifully twisted together. I've never knitted from a skein rather than a ball of yarn so that was rather messy (how *are* you supposed to manage it?!)
So, the results - the pictures are rather poor sadly - the light wasn't good enough:
This really doesn't do justice to how lovely the yarn is - very soft and quite stretchy too. I knitted with 12mm needles so it knitted up really quickly. It was yellow flecks in it and some faintly sparkly bits - so, all in all lovely and I'm very pleased with the result. I also look to have loads left, which I wasn't expecting, so I'm not sure what to do with the remainder (which sadly is a rather tangled mess now - it got out of hand and I'm not sure how to go about sorting it out....::sigh:: I foresee a lengthy job ahead.
Just to amuse, I shall show you the two different sizes on needles I've been using today:
The observant among you will spot the Addi Turbos - my first set. I am officially loving them. They are being used with Malabrigo lace yarn in Indigo to make Alice's Cheshire Cat Stole. Early days with plenty of opportunity to mess it up - hooray!!BTW - the lump in my lymph system is now officially down-graded to petit-pois size. Also good, yes?
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Long time, passing
::Sigh::
Where did I go? I guess December has gotten the better of me.
What have I been up to?
Well, I had my appointment at the Royal London Homoeopathic Hospital with Dr. Kassab - who was very nice. Her office was filled with plants which was nice - green and leafy. She was very kind and it was so fantastic to talk to someone who really acknowledged how much of a problem the hot flushes are - and then went on to say that she was pretty sure she could do something to help. Which is such a difference to the usual 'well, it's crap but we can't do much about it'. I'm not saying that other drs. etc have been unkind or unsympathetic; it's just that, generally, they can't offer much help with it. Plus, it's always considered as a *side-effect* rather than a problem in its own right.
So, I cried (as usual) and explained everything that had happened to me (which I hate doing - well, the explaining the whole when it first started, how I found it and all that stuff.)
It was really quite fascinating discussing it with her - she asked lots of questions about the emotional effect and how I felt when it happened and before it happened and what it felt like. I learnt some interesting things about them through this - for example, the hot flushes make me feel claustrophobic - having to have windows open at night; feeling compulsions to take off as many clothes as I can when they happen; panicking and feeling trapped when they happen.
So I came away with an initial prescription for 'Argent Nit. ' and another for 'Glonoine' if the other isn't doing much after a month. So it's been just over a week and I'm still waiting to see what sort of effect the Arg. Nit. is having......I'm not feeling like it's helping much yet but I'll keep on giving it a go.
One of my few working veins has given up the ghost so we had to have several goes at getting the cannula in on Friday ::shudder:: I never thought I'd say this, but; I miss my portocath.....I keep joking that I'll bring in my port and they can put it back in. But I was down to 2 or 3 functioning and easily found veins in my one usable arm and if we keep going with the IV pamidronate then I'm going to run out of veins!! Plus, who knows what they'll have to give me in the future. Eventually, if the Xeloda stops working, then I may need some other drugs. So, in the long run, it may be an investment to have the portocath put back in.....I guess I'll cross that bridge in due course.
So, then on Saturday morning (of course, these things never happen on Mondays...) I noticed that a mole on my leg was looking odd and scabby and darker. So, of course, I freaked out; convinced that it was skin cancer and it had spread and perhaps this was the initial cause of it all (irrational, much?) and so on. Oh, and that the 3 cysts I have in various places weren't cysts and I should have mentioned the new one instead of telling myself it was just another cyst etc. Argh, dying, end of world, man the lifeboats, plan the funeral, finish the knitting etc.
Poor Dear Other tried to reassure me - reminding me that the CT scan would have shown up other cancer spots, that even if it was abnormal it didn't mean it was cancerous, that it was small. And it was a case of me meeting logic and going 'lalalalalal cannot understand this logic-thing, s'cuse me, too much dying to do!' Poor, poor, Dear Other - he looked so sad and said he felt so bad about not to be able to make me feel better. (Bear in mind I'd thrown in a healthy dose of 'I'm so stupid; it's all my fault; I should have done this and that and the other; bad, bad me, blah, blah, blah') Well, he did make me feel better; but I felt pretty crap to begin with so it was better on a relative scale. So, after a weekend of 'argh!' and great fear, on Monday morning I rang my breast care nurse (well, the new one - the one who knows me best is on maternity leave - the nerve of it!) who helpfully said 'hmm, don't think it's to do with the Xeloda - go and see your GP. Bye!' Not quite as much cossetting and reassuring as I'd hoped for. So, I rang my GP's surgery and asked for an appointment that day - none to be had (of course) so I asked for my GP to ring me and headed off to Shiatsu where I spent at least half the session crying and wailing before we even started - but she was very nice and understanding about my neuroticness and was even kind enough to say that she understood my point of view about feeling that the cancer was my 'fault' because my body is me. By the time I got home it was getting on for 5pm and my GP *still had not rung me* and I was cross but decided I'd just ring for an appointment early the following morning but just as I was bad-mouthing him, he rang (at 4 minutes before 6pm....) and said 'it's about a mole?' and I said 'yes, it sounds pathetic, I know.' and he was kind enough to say 'no, no - do you want me to look at it?' (er, no - why would I want that? Please just use your psychic powers to divine it's status and we shan't have to bother with all this appointments business.....) Ooh, I am bitchy - horribly so, considering that he told me to come and see him the following day - a miracle because I can't usually get an appointment with him at all. But he squeezed his schedule or something and fitted me in.
So I showed it to him, along with a bunch of other ones and my cysts, saying 'what about this one? Ok, this one? Can I just show you this?' and he was exceedingly patient and looked at them all and told me they were all *FINE*. (YAY!) But he said that if I came back in a month then he'd look again and if I wanted to have it removed then he'd take it out and send it to be tested; so I probably will have it taken off - just so I stop peering at it and poking it (which was probably why it was red in the first place - dumbo.) Then he asked if there was anything else he could do for me - which I always think if very nice but very pointless; because what can he do? I was torn between saying 'yes, make it all go away' and 'yes, come round for tea - that will make me feel better!' But I didn't say either - well, I might have said the former in a not so facetious way. But I did whine a bit about not sleeping and he gave me a prescription for some Zopiclone (why do half my pills start with a Z or an X???) - just a small number, not a long term thing but he said it might help so I can make the most of my time with my family over Christmas. So, I went home a very relieved bunny and collapsed in a heap.
Remind me to tell you tomorrow that I left my glasses at Shiatsu, I'm getting a cold, I'm collecting preventative antibiotics and to show you the *bee-you-ti-ful* lace stole I was given as a Christmas present (which I've worn and stroked every day since I got it); plus my dithering over what to make with Pocketina's hand spun yarn (I'm currently too scared to knit it in case it all goes horribly wrong and I spoil it - which will make me cry, more, lots.) Plus, plus, my envy over the meeting and fah-bulous new creations of Laurie and Rebel.
The end.
Whee! Are you still reading? Or have you slumped over in a heap of overwhelmed-ness?
Where did I go? I guess December has gotten the better of me.
What have I been up to?
Well, I had my appointment at the Royal London Homoeopathic Hospital with Dr. Kassab - who was very nice. Her office was filled with plants which was nice - green and leafy. She was very kind and it was so fantastic to talk to someone who really acknowledged how much of a problem the hot flushes are - and then went on to say that she was pretty sure she could do something to help. Which is such a difference to the usual 'well, it's crap but we can't do much about it'. I'm not saying that other drs. etc have been unkind or unsympathetic; it's just that, generally, they can't offer much help with it. Plus, it's always considered as a *side-effect* rather than a problem in its own right.
So, I cried (as usual) and explained everything that had happened to me (which I hate doing - well, the explaining the whole when it first started, how I found it and all that stuff.)
It was really quite fascinating discussing it with her - she asked lots of questions about the emotional effect and how I felt when it happened and before it happened and what it felt like. I learnt some interesting things about them through this - for example, the hot flushes make me feel claustrophobic - having to have windows open at night; feeling compulsions to take off as many clothes as I can when they happen; panicking and feeling trapped when they happen.
So I came away with an initial prescription for 'Argent Nit. ' and another for 'Glonoine' if the other isn't doing much after a month. So it's been just over a week and I'm still waiting to see what sort of effect the Arg. Nit. is having......I'm not feeling like it's helping much yet but I'll keep on giving it a go.
One of my few working veins has given up the ghost so we had to have several goes at getting the cannula in on Friday ::shudder:: I never thought I'd say this, but; I miss my portocath.....I keep joking that I'll bring in my port and they can put it back in. But I was down to 2 or 3 functioning and easily found veins in my one usable arm and if we keep going with the IV pamidronate then I'm going to run out of veins!! Plus, who knows what they'll have to give me in the future. Eventually, if the Xeloda stops working, then I may need some other drugs. So, in the long run, it may be an investment to have the portocath put back in.....I guess I'll cross that bridge in due course.
So, then on Saturday morning (of course, these things never happen on Mondays...) I noticed that a mole on my leg was looking odd and scabby and darker. So, of course, I freaked out; convinced that it was skin cancer and it had spread and perhaps this was the initial cause of it all (irrational, much?) and so on. Oh, and that the 3 cysts I have in various places weren't cysts and I should have mentioned the new one instead of telling myself it was just another cyst etc. Argh, dying, end of world, man the lifeboats, plan the funeral, finish the knitting etc.
Poor Dear Other tried to reassure me - reminding me that the CT scan would have shown up other cancer spots, that even if it was abnormal it didn't mean it was cancerous, that it was small. And it was a case of me meeting logic and going 'lalalalalal cannot understand this logic-thing, s'cuse me, too much dying to do!' Poor, poor, Dear Other - he looked so sad and said he felt so bad about not to be able to make me feel better. (Bear in mind I'd thrown in a healthy dose of 'I'm so stupid; it's all my fault; I should have done this and that and the other; bad, bad me, blah, blah, blah') Well, he did make me feel better; but I felt pretty crap to begin with so it was better on a relative scale. So, after a weekend of 'argh!' and great fear, on Monday morning I rang my breast care nurse (well, the new one - the one who knows me best is on maternity leave - the nerve of it!) who helpfully said 'hmm, don't think it's to do with the Xeloda - go and see your GP. Bye!' Not quite as much cossetting and reassuring as I'd hoped for. So, I rang my GP's surgery and asked for an appointment that day - none to be had (of course) so I asked for my GP to ring me and headed off to Shiatsu where I spent at least half the session crying and wailing before we even started - but she was very nice and understanding about my neuroticness and was even kind enough to say that she understood my point of view about feeling that the cancer was my 'fault' because my body is me. By the time I got home it was getting on for 5pm and my GP *still had not rung me* and I was cross but decided I'd just ring for an appointment early the following morning but just as I was bad-mouthing him, he rang (at 4 minutes before 6pm....) and said 'it's about a mole?' and I said 'yes, it sounds pathetic, I know.' and he was kind enough to say 'no, no - do you want me to look at it?' (er, no - why would I want that? Please just use your psychic powers to divine it's status and we shan't have to bother with all this appointments business.....) Ooh, I am bitchy - horribly so, considering that he told me to come and see him the following day - a miracle because I can't usually get an appointment with him at all. But he squeezed his schedule or something and fitted me in.
So I showed it to him, along with a bunch of other ones and my cysts, saying 'what about this one? Ok, this one? Can I just show you this?' and he was exceedingly patient and looked at them all and told me they were all *FINE*. (YAY!) But he said that if I came back in a month then he'd look again and if I wanted to have it removed then he'd take it out and send it to be tested; so I probably will have it taken off - just so I stop peering at it and poking it (which was probably why it was red in the first place - dumbo.) Then he asked if there was anything else he could do for me - which I always think if very nice but very pointless; because what can he do? I was torn between saying 'yes, make it all go away' and 'yes, come round for tea - that will make me feel better!' But I didn't say either - well, I might have said the former in a not so facetious way. But I did whine a bit about not sleeping and he gave me a prescription for some Zopiclone (why do half my pills start with a Z or an X???) - just a small number, not a long term thing but he said it might help so I can make the most of my time with my family over Christmas. So, I went home a very relieved bunny and collapsed in a heap.
Remind me to tell you tomorrow that I left my glasses at Shiatsu, I'm getting a cold, I'm collecting preventative antibiotics and to show you the *bee-you-ti-ful* lace stole I was given as a Christmas present (which I've worn and stroked every day since I got it); plus my dithering over what to make with Pocketina's hand spun yarn (I'm currently too scared to knit it in case it all goes horribly wrong and I spoil it - which will make me cry, more, lots.) Plus, plus, my envy over the meeting and fah-bulous new creations of Laurie and Rebel.
The end.
Whee! Are you still reading? Or have you slumped over in a heap of overwhelmed-ness?
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Day of reckoning
I didn't know what to write today and that is because tomorrow is Clinic Day and CT results Day and that's pretty much consuming all the space in my head currently. I slept appallingly last night but I don't feel like I'll sleep tonight either.
Tomorrow is also crap appointment-times day. I've got to get there at 9am in order to get my bloods taken in the chemo-suite. I much prefer Megan in the chemo-suite to do it than to go and wait for the general bods in the blood room but that means I've got to be there bright and early so that she can do it before it gets busy (and boy does it get busy later on!). I cannot begin to tell you how much I regret letting them persuade me to have my portocath removed. I should have trusted my instinct, which was definitely scared stiff about having it taken out and then needing it again. But I did it because I thought it would help me to move on - to stop being a cancer-patient - sadly I'm not sure that even worked really. I still have it somewhere - perhaps they'd put it back in for me.... ;) (KIDDING!) Anyway, then I have to wait around until 11.15am for my appointment with the oncologist; but the last two times I've been they've been a doctor short and things have been running *so* slowly and by 11.15am they'll have had lots of time to get behind schedule so I could end up having to wait for *ages*. Which is really bad for my nerves - I also tend to forget all the questions I wanted to ask if I had to sit around. The panic takes up all the room in my head. The receptionist said that if I turned up early then I might be able to be seen earlier; but if I don't get slotted in earlier then I'll end up having to wait in the Onc. corridor for over an hour - and that really will drive me to insanity. Decisions, decisions....
Plus, I'm really hoping that we don't have a replay of the last two prescription-cock-ups. I'll be scanning the sheet veerrry closely before leaving the Onc.
So, if I'm less than scintillating this evening then I suggest that you go and read (or re-read) yesterday's post. Particularly if you're a person of the knit. And, in fact, I'll accept interest from people who aren't of the knit but need a bit of cheering up. Leave me a comment or send me an email (address on my profile page) and tell me why you need cheering up and I'll select 2 additional folk to receive (why, yes, I do like making additional work for myself!) If you're of the knitting persuasion don't feel alarmed - you don't have to knock out 3 grand sweaters to send of - the knitted items can be little things, funny things, anything you can think of really.
So, join the knitty goodness!
Tomorrow is also crap appointment-times day. I've got to get there at 9am in order to get my bloods taken in the chemo-suite. I much prefer Megan in the chemo-suite to do it than to go and wait for the general bods in the blood room but that means I've got to be there bright and early so that she can do it before it gets busy (and boy does it get busy later on!). I cannot begin to tell you how much I regret letting them persuade me to have my portocath removed. I should have trusted my instinct, which was definitely scared stiff about having it taken out and then needing it again. But I did it because I thought it would help me to move on - to stop being a cancer-patient - sadly I'm not sure that even worked really. I still have it somewhere - perhaps they'd put it back in for me.... ;) (KIDDING!) Anyway, then I have to wait around until 11.15am for my appointment with the oncologist; but the last two times I've been they've been a doctor short and things have been running *so* slowly and by 11.15am they'll have had lots of time to get behind schedule so I could end up having to wait for *ages*. Which is really bad for my nerves - I also tend to forget all the questions I wanted to ask if I had to sit around. The panic takes up all the room in my head. The receptionist said that if I turned up early then I might be able to be seen earlier; but if I don't get slotted in earlier then I'll end up having to wait in the Onc. corridor for over an hour - and that really will drive me to insanity. Decisions, decisions....
Plus, I'm really hoping that we don't have a replay of the last two prescription-cock-ups. I'll be scanning the sheet veerrry closely before leaving the Onc.
So, if I'm less than scintillating this evening then I suggest that you go and read (or re-read) yesterday's post. Particularly if you're a person of the knit. And, in fact, I'll accept interest from people who aren't of the knit but need a bit of cheering up. Leave me a comment or send me an email (address on my profile page) and tell me why you need cheering up and I'll select 2 additional folk to receive (why, yes, I do like making additional work for myself!) If you're of the knitting persuasion don't feel alarmed - you don't have to knock out 3 grand sweaters to send of - the knitted items can be little things, funny things, anything you can think of really.
So, join the knitty goodness!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Pay it forward and other fantastic opportunities
I'm a lucky, lucky girl.
The lovely, fantastic necklace I ordered from Rebel1in8 from her Etsy shop has arrived via dad-post a couple of days ago and I haven't stopped wearing it since (well, I've taken in off at night for fear of being strangled or worse, damaging it). I love it and it makes me feel good wearing it.
The beads look even more beautiful in real-technicolor-life. So, if you need a little Rebel in your life then go and get yourself one!
The other yum item that actually arrived today is the snuggliest, squishyist, take-it-to-bed-with-you, lurvely yarn. The lovely yarn spun for me by the super-duper Pocketina.
The colour of it is full of greens - my favourite colour - with hints of yellowyness and purple and such a lovely texture with super thick fuzzyness and finely contrasting bits.
You think I'm kidding about the sleeping with it bit, don't you?..
You can peek at what it looks like for yourself on her flickr pages.
Go, look, I'm not going anywhere until you've appropriately 'oohed'.
I was so totally blown away when she told me she wanted to send me some yarn - and then she wrote such a lovely message to go with it that I'm totally going around squeezing the yarn and smelling it (I don't know why I keep smelling it - it doesn't smell of anything - but I feel the need to take it in with all my senses.....alright - except for taste - I'm not licking it or anything. What, you think I'm weird or something?)
In other, interesting news, I'm rather behind at posting my link for Pay It Forward - knitting style.
The first 3 people to comment on this blog post (who profess themselves to be knitters/crocheters/fibre-creators) will receive a knitted item, as knitted by me, within 6 months.
In return they must post on their blog and also commit to doing the same (i.e. knitting and sending to 3 more people) and so on.
I'm going to be the lucky recipient of something knitted by the lovely Lauren from StitchandBitchLondon - I'm very excited.
So, post a comment - please make sure I have an email address so I can contact you - otherwise I'll have problems!!
Finally, what do the following two pictures have in common?
The lovely, fantastic necklace I ordered from Rebel1in8 from her Etsy shop has arrived via dad-post a couple of days ago and I haven't stopped wearing it since (well, I've taken in off at night for fear of being strangled or worse, damaging it). I love it and it makes me feel good wearing it.
The beads look even more beautiful in real-technicolor-life. So, if you need a little Rebel in your life then go and get yourself one!The other yum item that actually arrived today is the snuggliest, squishyist, take-it-to-bed-with-you, lurvely yarn. The lovely yarn spun for me by the super-duper Pocketina.
The colour of it is full of greens - my favourite colour - with hints of yellowyness and purple and such a lovely texture with super thick fuzzyness and finely contrasting bits.
You think I'm kidding about the sleeping with it bit, don't you?..
You can peek at what it looks like for yourself on her flickr pages.
Go, look, I'm not going anywhere until you've appropriately 'oohed'.
I was so totally blown away when she told me she wanted to send me some yarn - and then she wrote such a lovely message to go with it that I'm totally going around squeezing the yarn and smelling it (I don't know why I keep smelling it - it doesn't smell of anything - but I feel the need to take it in with all my senses.....alright - except for taste - I'm not licking it or anything. What, you think I'm weird or something?)
In other, interesting news, I'm rather behind at posting my link for Pay It Forward - knitting style.
The first 3 people to comment on this blog post (who profess themselves to be knitters/crocheters/fibre-creators) will receive a knitted item, as knitted by me, within 6 months.
In return they must post on their blog and also commit to doing the same (i.e. knitting and sending to 3 more people) and so on.
I'm going to be the lucky recipient of something knitted by the lovely Lauren from StitchandBitchLondon - I'm very excited.
So, post a comment - please make sure I have an email address so I can contact you - otherwise I'll have problems!!
Finally, what do the following two pictures have in common?
Monday, November 05, 2007
Randomness
Yesterday I was commenting on NaBloPoMo blogs with photos that I liked on them. So I thought that today, since I have this new camera and all, I'd post a picture from my walk to the Coop this morning.This is what Northampton looks like this morning......and this was the nice trees - others look bare and bleak.
Blah.
No wonder I'm depressed.!
Today is also Christmas Cake baking day. Well, it should have been ages ago but I have no impetus for doing things any more. Total lethargy. But, it has been done and is in the oven. The fruit soaked in a mixture of brandy, sherry and a bit of orange juice for 24 hours. I do know someone who soaks hers for 5 days without OJ ;) But this is for our Christmas drinks 'do' at the start of December so I didn't think it was so critical. Besides, some people will be driving ;)
So, what with knitting little mini stockings being knit, it's starting to feel "a lot like Christmas"....ish.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Knit-day
I have finally given in, or bitten the bullet or some such and bought a camera capable of taking decent enough pictures to upload here.
Too bad, folks, that means you get to look at knitting examples!!
This here is Mrs Beeton by Brenda Dayne from Knitty. I've knitted about 4 versions of these so far because people keep seeing them and going 'oh, those are nice' in that meaningful tone of voice. This is the second thing I ever knitted on dpns - not bad, eh? I actually like dpns very much - once I got past the feeling that I was trying to knit with a very unwilling porcupine.....
Friday, March 30, 2007
::Blush::
I'm all glowing and proud to have been invited to write a piece for another site and, now I've seen it posted, I'm even more so because of the lovely words that have been said about it.
This isn't so much of a knitting/crafting blog but I have mentioned it here and there and now you can read more about it, the piece is called Chemo-stitches.
So gazillions of thank you's to Pocketina of DIY, not die, I'm proud to be up there on your blog!
This isn't so much of a knitting/crafting blog but I have mentioned it here and there and now you can read more about it, the piece is called Chemo-stitches.
So gazillions of thank you's to Pocketina of DIY, not die, I'm proud to be up there on your blog!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Warming up the lions and sticking up the v's at cancer
This is my Lion Scarf piece - wot I knitted to help keep the lions in Trafalgar Square warm - raising money for Cancer Research UK.
Stitch and Bitch London and friends across the world have knitted pieces and sewn 'em up to make scarves for all four (large) lions. They were en-scarved today!
My piece is in green, pink and white-y/beige, knitted with three different yarns to make the pattern and then it has a crocheted ruffle on the sides - pretty, no?
Monday, March 19, 2007
Listen again...
Damn it! I may be able to write the flipping thing but apparently I can't copy and paste the right link in to my blog so y'all can listen to it!!
Thank you Pocketina for gently pointing out the slip *and* carefully listening to the other podcasts to find the right one! That's dedication! Especially since all I've been doing is nagging you to do arm exercises.....you can call it ass-kicking but I think it still masquerades as nagging..... ;)
In other news I have finally been on a new yarn binge and started knitting a pair of socks - my first ever go with more than two needles at once and after a day's go at it I'm starting to feel a little less like I'm knitting with a porcupine.....
Argh! They take out my portocath on Friday...why did I agree? Noooooooooo.
Oh - so then I went and posted this without putting in the right link.....I am losing the plot here!
Let's try again:
Ladies and gentlemen, now presenting my essay on the fabulous Cast On, blah blah.....
Episode 36 my friends - starring me (again, not my voice; just my words - just?)
Thank you Pocketina for gently pointing out the slip *and* carefully listening to the other podcasts to find the right one! That's dedication! Especially since all I've been doing is nagging you to do arm exercises.....you can call it ass-kicking but I think it still masquerades as nagging..... ;)
In other news I have finally been on a new yarn binge and started knitting a pair of socks - my first ever go with more than two needles at once and after a day's go at it I'm starting to feel a little less like I'm knitting with a porcupine.....
Argh! They take out my portocath on Friday...why did I agree? Noooooooooo.
Oh - so then I went and posted this without putting in the right link.....I am losing the plot here!
Let's try again:
Ladies and gentlemen, now presenting my essay on the fabulous Cast On, blah blah.....
Episode 36 my friends - starring me (again, not my voice; just my words - just?)
Friday, March 09, 2007
Cast On
Wanna hear a little something I wrote?
Follow the yellow brick road - I mean, the link, to Cast on
Never listened to Cast On? Shame on you! I'm a fan, although I'm terribly behind in my listening which is why I only recently discovered that Brenda had used the piece that I emailed her. That is, by the way, *not* my voice - it's decidedly too other-side-of-the-Atlantic to be me despite my US roots.
My piece is towards the end of the podcast so you'll have to listen to the lovely Brenda Dayne on the way - I promise you it won't be a waste of your time and there's three whole series-worth to listen to if you've some time on your hands. I very must enjoyed the series on the Muses - especially Episode 23 on Urania (I think it was that one) - So listen! Listen to me, listen to Brenda, listen and, as the lady says, "Knit like the wind!".
Follow the yellow brick road - I mean, the link, to Cast on
Never listened to Cast On? Shame on you! I'm a fan, although I'm terribly behind in my listening which is why I only recently discovered that Brenda had used the piece that I emailed her. That is, by the way, *not* my voice - it's decidedly too other-side-of-the-Atlantic to be me despite my US roots.
My piece is towards the end of the podcast so you'll have to listen to the lovely Brenda Dayne on the way - I promise you it won't be a waste of your time and there's three whole series-worth to listen to if you've some time on your hands. I very must enjoyed the series on the Muses - especially Episode 23 on Urania (I think it was that one) - So listen! Listen to me, listen to Brenda, listen and, as the lady says, "Knit like the wind!".
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Lack of pictures
Today I am attempting a knitting post - if I can get the blinking pictures off my miniscule and rather pathetic camera, that is.
OK - so that is what I was going to do - but the computer refuses to find the camera - I loathe you, computer! I wish you to know this - ::deep loathing::
And I was going to show you the sweet little baby sweater I've just about finished - it's just waiting for a zipper since I decided I didn't like the toggle button fastenings from the pattern. It has a hood - very sweet. And is destined for Ffion - my best friends 2 week old daughter; who I have yet to meet since she's all the way away in Wales.... :( Hopefully I'll see her before Christimas though - I do want to see her while she's still little. I missed her birth by a matter of days since I was visiting the day before my friend's waters broke - Ffion decided to make an early appearance - by two weeks. She's obviously a performer, like her parents! ;)
Ah well, that's it for today since I've been scuppered and have wasted all this time faffing around with the camera - it's bedtime and then some!
Night night
OK - so that is what I was going to do - but the computer refuses to find the camera - I loathe you, computer! I wish you to know this - ::deep loathing::
And I was going to show you the sweet little baby sweater I've just about finished - it's just waiting for a zipper since I decided I didn't like the toggle button fastenings from the pattern. It has a hood - very sweet. And is destined for Ffion - my best friends 2 week old daughter; who I have yet to meet since she's all the way away in Wales.... :( Hopefully I'll see her before Christimas though - I do want to see her while she's still little. I missed her birth by a matter of days since I was visiting the day before my friend's waters broke - Ffion decided to make an early appearance - by two weeks. She's obviously a performer, like her parents! ;)
Ah well, that's it for today since I've been scuppered and have wasted all this time faffing around with the camera - it's bedtime and then some!
Night night
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