Sunday, November 18, 2007

To sleep perchance to dream - no thanks

It's absolutely tipping down with rain here today. Dull and drear and we still have no curtains so there's nothing to shut out the cold with.
I am eating a persimmon, or a Sharon fruit or, apparently they're also called Kaki(!). I am alarmed to read that eating them unripe can cause bezoars. I could be in a Harry Potter film! I'm not sure how to know if they're ripe - I usually judge fruit ripeness based on whether I can bite into it without breaking a tooth - and I can, so.....here's hoping I haven't just grown a bezoar. (I think my oncologist would roll her eyes at that.....)

I had *terrible* dreams last night. I'm blaming the weather. I dreamt there were people breaking into my home - I saw one of them and hid and then they were peering through the window trying to see me and then they were up a ladder coming through an upstairs window; so I told them to go away. It took some negotiation but they were caught by the police. And then I discovered the people over the road had been watching it through binoculars like it was some sort of show. A bit scary - I woke up and went back to sleep, where the dreams got worse.
Now, I was in charge of trying to rescue 3 children who were being taken to be part of some medical experiments - it was one of those deals where you know what's going to happen but you're pretending you don't because the 'baddies' are pretending to be the 'goodies'. So we tried to escape and we got out and set off running away and finally arrived in some place where we found somewhere to stay the night but of course, the person who owned the place we were staying was in league with the 'baddies' so we were caught all over again and then the smallest girl had her legs sliced up. It was horrible. The bones were sliced lengthways and laid our neatly in front of me. Luckily, though, she seemed to still be able to stand up and run after a fashion (this part makes even less sense) so we escaped again and got in a boat to go down a river and then I woke up again.
Went back to sleep again and now we'd escaped and we were at school - I guess I was
like a teacher but not and the boy who'd been one of the children turned up and he was crippled and on crutches. And then, thank goodness, I woke up and it was late enough to get up and leap in the shower.

Hideous night, or what? I seriously hope those dreams don't mean anything. I hate nights when I have very vivid dreams - even if they're not horrible ones because I never feel like I've slept properly. It feels like I've been awake the whole night doing the things in the dream. Ugh. Can you tell that sleep's become a big issue for me now?
I hope you're sleeping better than me. Tell me a nice dream to take away my horrid ones.

5 comments:

pocketina said...

I had dreams like that sometimes!
Especially the one about taking care of kids during some horrible scary thing...for me, it was tornadoes.
It's like a really overblown sense of responsibility, or the burden of responsibility, that is to blame for those dreams, I think.

I don't have bad dreams anymore, because somehow I figured out how to change my dreams: I become aware that I'm dreaming and go, "No, let's dream something else" and the plot changes from scary to benign.

I have a silly dream for you: I dreamt that my cat Manon was talking, but she didn't have anything interesting to say, she just talked like a three year old ('Where is water?', 'Where is mouse?', and it drove me crazy.

Or, here's a hypothyroid dream (the pituitary gland goes bonkers when one's hypothyroid): I dreamt that I worked in an Easter egg factory, and it was boring, repetitive work of packing eggs for hours and hours, and I remember thinking,"Why did I get a second job, and why did I get THIS one?" and then I realized that I was dreaming, and I laughed (in my dream, yes) and woke up.

I wish you wonderful dreams, in the future. :-)

Doug said...

Hi Sepha.
About a month ago, I was told that my prostate cancer has returned and I haven't been able to sleep without medication since then. The meds help but I find myself having all these really wild, lucid and adventurous dreams. I used to have dreams where I couldn't move when I needed to or couldn't fight back if I was attacked, but now I seem to the star in an action flik. Except last night, I had dreams where everything was somehow going wrong. I wonder if it's because I'm seeing the radiation oncologist tomorrow about starting "salvage" treatments.

I wonder how much of the script of a dream is written by our preoccupation with cancer and whether it reflects our hopes or our fears. I don't think it predicts anything though.

I wish you happy dreams always (whatever they mean).

Doug
http://talkingaboutcancer.com

titan said...

would that i could, but i almost always dream in nightmares, so i prefer just not to remember my dreams. often i wake up after a nightmare calling into question my sanity because such dreams don't seem like the product of a sane person.

*clinks glasses* to pleasant dreams for both of us!

laurie said...

That really was a horrid night. I hate that feeling of waking up from that kind of dream - relieved that it wasn't real but still kind of traumatized.

I can't think of any sweet dreams, I do have a bizarre (and not too hard to deconstruct) dream story to share:

When I was pregnant with my first-born, I dreamed I gave birth to a chicken. I was horrified. And felt terribly guilty because I could not bring myself to love this chicken and repulsed at the idea of trying to breast feed it.

A while later, I dreamed that I birthed a golden retriever puppy. I was still dismayed but less repulsed and horrified. When I woke, I figured I was making progress.

I eventually gave birth to a healthy, human baby boy. I was still pretty freaked out but relieved that there were no feathers, claws or beaks involved in nursing him.

Sherry said...

I hate it when I have troubling dreams...I don't think they always mean something bad, just that there is a lot going on in my life or on my mind. Hope you're sleeping better over the next few nights.