Well, I've reached day 16 and run out of steam - I don't know what to say today.
That said, today's not shaping up too badly - I have actually had a shower and washed my hair today. Some days that's too much for me - so, yay me! I will also step out of the house today. True, only to the supermarket and only because the Dear Other is insisting that he won't drive - lazy old me would prefer it if he did.....
Are these bad signs? The other day I managed walking the distance I used to walk to work. I did feel like I'd walked quite far and I'm not sure I'd go straight out and do the same again in a hurry. But it was only a couple of miles and I used to cover that in 40 minutes easily. I can obviously still do it but without quite so much ease. What with the dormant verdict I feel even more lost sitting around at home. I know I still couldn't get up and do a full days work. I think it's because I'm so much less sick and unwell than I was with the chemo 2 years ago. But then, that *really* knocked me out so I guess that's not so surprising. Just because it's not as bad as last time doesn't mean I'm 100% well.
I think, having had a day or two to assimilate, I am feeling pleased with the chemo's apparent success. Stopping it growing is a good thing - it's not nothing! It hopefully means that we're in control again rather than it running the show. (hear that , cancer?? You've lost some power now - just wait and see what happens next, because we're running this show!)
I think I may be finding the groove. The little bit of bite and fight that gets you through. Yes, alright, a little hope. I'm not sure what the hope is or what it's hoping for but there's a glimmer. So, I'm upping sticks and heading State-side for Thanksgiving with my mum and dad and my brother - and at least we've got a little something to say 'thank you' for. I have even found a company that will insure me at not too extortionate a cost. Insure Pink is a broker that has finally realised that cancer doesn't necessarily make you an appalling risk for travel insurance. For £70-odd (GBP) they've insured me - including the cancer. For Christmas last year I paid £80-odd (GBP) *excluding* anything cancer related - and then I didn't have mets....and nothing happened to me of course and I didn't make any claim. Hopefully it will be the same this time.
Now I just have to sweet-talk the airline into cutting us through to the front of the security queue - gotta have some perks, right?
Turkey and pumpkin pie - here I come!
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3 comments:
One heads up for your trip: the US airlines have a problem lately with fight delays. The airlines are running fewer flights so a bit of bad weather delays everybody. Hope it doesn't happen to you but in case it does, tote things with you that will make time pass plesantly- good book,laptop,a bottle of the airport store's overpriced water, etc. Hope it's a great trip!
enjoy your trip to the USA - do you come here often? my coworker is from sleaford, but he has lost his British accent *and* uses his fork like a shovel sometimes. His mother would be appalled!
Whoo hoo! Good for you! And think of all the knitting you'll get done on the plane!
I do know what you mean about chemo being easier now but still not easy...I am constantly explaining to people that while vinorelbine is NOTHING compared to those first 6 rounds I did, it does still knock me on my ass for a few days.
Glad, too, that you are feeling hopeful. Call it "dormant" or "stable" it means that the cancer is not growing and in a great position to be beaten back.
xo
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