Sunday, February 05, 2006

Too sad - I'm not dysfunctional - I can do normal, real-life things (if a little slowly) but I just feel sad so much of the time.
I think I upset David trying to explain things to him this afternoon - it makes him feel bad that he can't really do anything to make it better.
I'm not sure if it's getting worse.
My mum said to me on IM this other evening that she was finding it hard as it came round to the "anniversary" (my word, not hers) and that made me feel bad too. I know it's not my fault but it makes me feel sad when other people are upset/sad. I don't want people to feel like that - especially when it's sort of over me....
AJ asked if I wanted to see the plastic surgeon last time I saw her - I said no. Quite frankly, unless he can perform miracles, then what's the point. I don't want to be a piece of patchwork, held together with duct tape with other bits of me squadged around to make do. Piss off - I'm not humpty dumpty. Or maybe I am - can't be put together again.
Things are not right and I'm scared.
And the hot flushes are back with a vengeance.
Poor me.
Sobs etc.
"Just fucking get on with it!" "Life is shit - deal with it!"

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