I hate myself when I get like this - I didn't used to be quite so intentionally a bitch. I could feel myself overreacting to something simple - making something uncomplicated into something it wasn't......What, am I trying to make everyone else feel as bad as me?? Fuck knows.
We were away and visiting people this weekend so I managed not to spend it feeling utterly miserable. But now I'm home again - where I wanted to be - and I can feel it settling on me again.....
I thought I had lots to say but the inertia stops me....
I'm tired - I didn't sleep well last night - David snored and pinched my side of the bed so he could reach his water in the night, which meant I couldn't reach mine :( How is that fair? Not only could I not reach my water but I felt all wrong being on the other side of the bed and was awake in the night with rushing thoughts.
More nails are growing out and digging into the sides of my fingers.... :(
I miss my mum - I ought to call her but I don't feel like I can speak to her without saying how sad I am and I feel bad about that. I haven't spoken to my brother for his birthday - I am such a bad person. I haven't put my birthday invitations in envelopes and sent them yet......I'm so hopeless.....
But I have daffodils and hyacinths - that'll fix everything....
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