Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Outcomes

I went to Norfolk for the weekend.
I got very sandy due to the wind but the sun shone.
I have cancer growing in my spine, hip and lung.
It's small, but there.

Fuck.

And this is apparently not a surprise to the medical team. Apparently it can happen and apparently when they were being positive with me there was a much smaller chance of a good outcome than I realised.

Still not going to die to tomorrow. But....

6 comments:

pocketina said...

I'm so pissed right now...fucking cancer. Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Tell me if I can do anything for you, ok? Anything at all.

Snoskred said...

Geez, Sepha.. I'm so sorry. :(

laurie said...

Oh, Sepha.

I am so sorry.

And I do know exactly what you mean about the compassionate expressions and little kindnesses from health care providers. It makes you think, "boy things must be really, really bad if they are being this nice to me."

But I am writing to tell you to hang in there. And that you can get through this. Knowing you have mets is horrific but I am living proof that it is not the end.

Last November, I was in extremely bad shape, with innumerable tumours on my liver and a great deal of pain.

After several months of vinorelbine and herceptin, my most recent ct scan showed no evidence of cancer (only scarring where the tumours were).

I saw my oncologist today. He can no longer even feel the edge of my liver. My chemo schedule continues but has been scaled back. My prognosis has greatly improved.

The chemo I am on now is very mild compared to the first six rounds after the initial diagnosis. If you do chemo, it will likely be easier to tolerate than what you have already done. My quality of life right now is really very good.

And other than the couple of days after chemo (when I feel a little green and am tired), I feel great.

I wish I lived just down the street from you and could come over and make you tea. Just know that I have been where you are and that you should feel free to contact me any time you like.

Please let me know if there is anything at all I can do to help.

Jacqueline said...

FUCK! is right- couldn't have said it better. i'm sorry for this news. there are some pretty great women out here that think you are pretty great yourself so please keep talking to us- ok.(?) it's not always easy.
i am a fan of your words and your honest perspective and while this news stinks like hell i love it that in the midst of it you take yourself towards the sand and sun- always a good thing...
hugs from afar.

Magpie said...

Very sorry. (Snoskred sent me.)

All best wishes.

Amanda M said...

Well damn. Now you have to cross that bridge. Big, big hugs....what a crappy disease this is. Good thing you went to Peru when you could though! And who knows ....things could turn around, just like laurie said, and you could get more Perus. Here's hoping that the chemo pills work wonders.