Friday, September 21, 2007

Guess the side effect

I'm just not feeling like I've adequately expressed the humour I find in my instruction sheet for my Xeloda side-effects; so I scanned them for your perusement and delight:

Now, I'm thinking you should all guess the side-effect from the picture.....
The entry with the most correct pictures identified will have the *very*, real, actual sheet mailed to them for their very own. The entry that makes me laugh the most will receive something else that I haven't decided upon yet. OK?

Go to it!!


Snoskred said...

1. Diamonds will expel from your *ahem* chocolate starfish. They are sharp, so this will be painful. It is easier to expel them if you sit in the position pictured here. They will shoot out very quickly and make a clinking noise when they land against the porcelain. This will only happen when the sun is in the sky. At night time, you will produce regular poop.

2. Diamonds are difficult to find when in water. You will spend large amounts of time peering into your toilet searching for them. This is why they only arrive in daylight.

3. This medication will make you feel like you want to provide oral sex to any man you spot. We recommend you keep your hand over your mouth in order to prevent the blow up doll face. Alternately, you may wish to use duct tape.

4. A side effect of number 3 - a swollen tongue and dented tonsils. For this reason we recommend you keep away from men whilst taking this medication. And bananas. And carrots. In fact anything shaped like the male organ. This includes the Tower Of Pisa. We recommend you do not visit Italy during this time.

5. This medication causes a bizzare urge to paint certain parts of your body with nail polish. We recommend you either hand over all nail polish to a family member or friend, or keep a large amount of nail polish remover handy.

6. Your body temperature will lower to the point that you could be considered a cold blooded reptile. We do not recommend you take your temperature for two reasons, side effect 4 applies because thermometers are shaped like the male organ only a lot smaller (usually), and no normal thermometer will register a reading at all.

I do hope this at least put a smile on your face, Sepha. ;)


pocketina said...

OK, here goes.
Xeloda's side effects are (from top to bottom):
1.plane crashes (or maybe it's somersaults)
2.losing contact lenses
3.deep state of contemplation
5.henna tattoos
7.partial decapitation

How'd I do?


laurie said...

I was going to give it a shot but there is no way that I could top snoskred. Diamonds are much funnier than diarrhea.

Dorothy said...

Here goes, my best effort..

Yoga, everywhere made easy
cleaning your odd times
pondering life
I hate the dentist
The cigarette returns

Miracles do happen..and I'm praying..

Dorothy from grammology
call your grandma

pocketina said...

Laurie, I totally agree...both snoskred's comment and mine didn't appear until Em approved them, so I had no IDEA what I was up against. Em, try to be mildly amused by mine, I acknowledge that I was dead before I even got started.
I don't know which made me snort more: diamonds, chocolate starfish, or the implication that Xeloda leads to rampant fellation urges.

I bow to the master: snoskred

River said...

Laughter is the best medicine and from the previous comments you should get plenty. Feel better.

laurie said...

P'tina, I hadn't seen yours when I commented either. I think your 2 and 7 are especially funny.