Thursday, February 26, 2009

Set condition 2 throughout the ship

Hello - apparently I am a huge drama queen who should just stop whining.....
I still entirely blame February.
There will be a CT scan in the next month or so to check the state of the lungs. The Princess Oncologist was unimpressed with pain in the shoulder and didn't even want to look at it.
The lymphoedema massage was painful.
You know people sometimes refer to 'good' pain? Well, this wasn't that. It was "owowowowowowowow please stop" type of pain. It was pain that means some of the lymph fluid was moving but under no definition was it 'good'. I hope the *consequence* of it will be good - but I've got another 3 sessions yet and the pain itself? Crap.
The oncology clinic seems to have tapped into my psyche. Last week I sobbed at the Dear Other that I didn't think I could stand to sit in that corridor one more time, I hated it and I didn't want to go there ever again. When we arrived at the clinic yesterday there were signs indicating that we needed to follow the arrows elsewhere. Lo! And Behold! The clinic has moved to their new home (which has been on the cards for nearly a year, I think). But I didn't! I didn't have to sit in that corridor! Or go in that office where I've kept hearing bad news! I never have to go in there again!! They fulfilled my wish of not having to go there again. The relief! They celebrated by making me wait for my 11.30am appointment until 12.45pm.......sigh. Some things *don't* change. The new clinic has windows! (The view is crap, but, daylight!) And a waiting area that isn't a corridor! And is shared with cardiology - so rather elderly people keep shuffling in and out.....perhaps it was just Elderly People Day because I'm sure heart conditions apply to many age groups.....
So, I survived for another 6 weeks. Then there will be Results and far more of a likelihood of Change.
Thank you all who rooted for good news. I think you swung it. Especially those of you who crept out of the woodwork and especially those who root all the time and say so. I appreciate you all. I really, really do.
Roll on March.


Sweet Camden Lass said...

Two more days to go. Two more days of Sorrow. Two more days of this crap month and then it's March tomorrow.

Some poo-face has just used my Barclaycard fraudulently. Despite that it's sitting in my wallet and has been used once since November.

Bah. Humbug.

Ciorstaidh said...

Hurrah for hospital telepathy, and I'm glad all those good thoughts swung it. *thinks good thoughts HARD*

Anonymous said...


Dorothy said...

I think of you and wonder how your doing..thanks for the update and as I meander through my day my thoughts will be about how brave and intense you are.

Pain is demoralizing and people rarely understand I have a friend with RA and I know by the look in her eyes when she's dying inside.


Dorothy from grammology

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