Hello - apparently I am a huge drama queen who should just stop whining.....
I still entirely blame February.
There will be a CT scan in the next month or so to check the state of the lungs. The Princess Oncologist was unimpressed with pain in the shoulder and didn't even want to look at it.
The lymphoedema massage was painful.
You know people sometimes refer to 'good' pain? Well, this wasn't that. It was "owowowowowowowow please stop" type of pain. It was pain that means some of the lymph fluid was moving but under no definition was it 'good'. I hope the *consequence* of it will be good - but I've got another 3 sessions yet and the pain itself? Crap.
The oncology clinic seems to have tapped into my psyche. Last week I sobbed at the Dear Other that I didn't think I could stand to sit in that corridor one more time, I hated it and I didn't want to go there ever again. When we arrived at the clinic yesterday there were signs indicating that we needed to follow the arrows elsewhere. Lo! And Behold! The clinic has moved to their new home (which has been on the cards for nearly a year, I think). But I didn't! I didn't have to sit in that corridor! Or go in that office where I've kept hearing bad news! I never have to go in there again!! They fulfilled my wish of not having to go there again. The relief! They celebrated by making me wait for my 11.30am appointment until 12.45pm.......sigh. Some things *don't* change. The new clinic has windows! (The view is crap, but, daylight!) And a waiting area that isn't a corridor! And is shared with cardiology - so rather elderly people keep shuffling in and out.....perhaps it was just Elderly People Day because I'm sure heart conditions apply to many age groups.....
So, I survived for another 6 weeks. Then there will be Results and far more of a likelihood of Change.
Thank you all who rooted for good news. I think you swung it. Especially those of you who crept out of the woodwork and especially those who root all the time and say so. I appreciate you all. I really, really do.
Roll on March.