I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. The last time I had it cut was in February 2005, a week before my first AC chemo treatment. It's been growing since the end of 2008. It looks like this now:
And people keep saying how pretty it is, I shouldn't have it cut, etc, etc. Bit the truth is that I generally have it up 24 hours a day. I get too hot to have all that hair down my back - especially whilst I'm trying to sleep.
But I do think it's pretty - actually, despite all the time it took to get used to it; despite how hard I tried to *not* like it - I love my ringlets.
And I don't know what it will do if it's cut - will there still be ringlets? Or will they be gone? Maybe just wavy, or even straight again? I will be gutted if it doesn't curl like this again.
I 'joked' when all my hair fell out that I would shave my head every year to commemorate the whole ordeal but there was an essence of honesty there. I didn't want to get *attached* to have hair again. And, of course, it may go again if, oh, ok, when we get to the hardhitting chemos again. I don't want to die with no hair. I want you all to remember me as some Pre-Raphaelite, intriguing beauty..... with bounteous ringlets. OK? Is it a deal?
So, I don't know what I'm going to have done to it tomorrow. I keep warning people that I may just have a centimetre trimmed off it - I can't cope with expectations. But I just fear that I'm going to weep and weep as he cuts it. Not about having this hair cut off. Just, for everything. For the fact that I didn't cry last time. For the fact that it will go again one day. For everything. And I'm going to look like an insane-woman.... the dear Sweet Camden Lass will be there too - for moral support and mopping up duties in between having *her* hair cut and 'done'..... could be interesting for all.....
Please could I *not* be a wet, teary blanket in front of any more people I don't know.....I'd appreciate that.
My hair on a less attractive day on holiday in Scotland. Please allow your attention to be drawn to the owl, whose name I have forgotten. Sorry Mr. Wol....