Friday, October 10, 2008

To chop or not to chop....

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. The last time I had it cut was in February 2005, a week before my first AC chemo treatment. It's been growing since the end of 2008. It looks like this now:
And people keep saying how pretty it is, I shouldn't have it cut, etc, etc. Bit the truth is that I generally have it up 24 hours a day. I get too hot to have all that hair down my back - especially whilst I'm trying to sleep.
But I do think it's pretty - actually, despite all the time it took to get used to it; despite how hard I tried to *not* like it - I love my ringlets.
And I don't know what it will do if it's cut - will there still be ringlets? Or will they be gone? Maybe just wavy, or even straight again? I will be gutted if it doesn't curl like this again.
I 'joked' when all my hair fell out that I would shave my head every year to commemorate the whole ordeal but there was an essence of honesty there. I didn't want to get *attached* to have hair again. And, of course, it may go again if, oh, ok, when we get to the hardhitting chemos again. I don't want to die with no hair. I want you all to remember me as some Pre-Raphaelite, intriguing beauty..... with bounteous ringlets. OK? Is it a deal?
So, I don't know what I'm going to have done to it tomorrow. I keep warning people that I may just have a centimetre trimmed off it - I can't cope with expectations. But I just fear that I'm going to weep and weep as he cuts it. Not about having this hair cut off. Just, for everything. For the fact that I didn't cry last time. For the fact that it will go again one day. For everything. And I'm going to look like an insane-woman.... the dear Sweet Camden Lass will be there too - for moral support and mopping up duties in between having *her* hair cut and 'done'..... could be interesting for all.....
Please could I *not* be a wet, teary blanket in front of any more people I don't know.....I'd appreciate that.
Freebie photo:
My hair on a less attractive day on holiday in Scotland. Please allow your attention to be drawn to the owl, whose name I have forgotten. Sorry Mr. Wol....


Sweet Camden Lass said...


I think your hair will stay curly. It's something to do with the shape of the hair follicle.

Damien is lovely. He's looked after Mum when she's been fragile, and me when I've been awfully hungover, and was terrifically diplomatic when Mum's trip coincided with a visit from the wife of the guy who'd most recently sacked Dad (from which you may infer, yes, he's been sacked more than once).

I love your ringlets too. Ringlets should be encouraged: split ends shall be discouraged. This time last year, it was a gorgeous length: I love that picture of you at Jo's leaving do. I think it was the first time I'd seen it down for an age.

And it's fine to just have a wee small bit trimmed off the bottom: or simply to enjoy someone else washing it, and blow drying it for you.


Anonymous said...

Hope the hair appointment went well - and that you're happy with the outcome.
Saw this on one of favourite websites today, and thought of you:
Oh, and I'll be remembering you for your wicked sense of humour - if that's OK with you ? ;o)


L xx