Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Counting the days

Well, here I venture tentatively into the world of blogs.
My friends in Chicago have started one to countdown the birth of their first baby; so shall I count down to the removal of my right breast? (26 days - wish I hadn't just counted to find out!)

I've been waiting for this for six months - that's what I call cruelty. Tell a girl she has cancer and has to have a breast removed and then make her wait six months while she gets pumped full of poison every three weeks. Well, she is me and that's exactly what I've been doing since February 23rd.

So, 26 days left to wear low cut tops and underwired bras - then, 'hello prosthesis' (well, eventually - have to wait for incisions to heal and radiotherapy to finish before that.) They have offered reconstruction - but since that seems to involve hacking bits of the muscle from my shoulder and then tunneling it under my arm to create the new breast; I'm not too keen. I think I'd prefer to keep the unscarred, intact parts of my body as they are, thanks.

I think I'd prefer to be in Chicago having a baby. This was not what I planned to do in my 28th year. (or is it my 29th year if I am already 28?)

Thank heaven that the hideous hot weather is holding off - I never thought I'd say that but the evil hot flushes (I hate chemotherapy!) do not mix well with temps above about 73 deg F. I am continuously taking off and putting on layers of clothing and at night I lie in bed waiting for the next whisp of breeze to come through the window. That and throwing the covers on and off every 10 minutes - I think my boyfriend is probably reeling with sleep deprivation by now.....
I have to say that the laptop on my lap ain't such a brilliant idea either (shouldn't have gone for the Inspiron) - but if I don't have it on my lap then I can't have my legs up on the desk and I'm a lazy so-and-so who likes to have her feet up (Hey, I can do what I like - I have cancer - are you going to tell me what to do?! ;O) There have to be some perks, right?)

So - what am I doing for my remaining 26 two-breast days?
Trips to Leeds, Aberystwyth and Shropshire to visit friends - hooray! Well, if you'd spent the last six months sitting around in London and Northampton under instructions to avoids crowds and ill people you'd think visiting those places was pretty exciting! No, to be fair, I am genuinely excited - the weirdness of Leeds - Leeds is weird because it's where I grew up and has completely changed in the intervening years and I can't wait to see some real hills and the sea!

Anyway, enough for now - time for another thrilling trip to Somerfield and, ooh! maybe the library.....
The fun never ends (except in 26 days)

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