Sunday, May 17, 2009

Scrambled eggs

Cancer - in cackling tones: "We're in your skull, trying to reach your bra-a-ins! Hahahaha!"

Is what an MRI of my head shows. Which explains the numb patches on my face and in my mouth. Apparently it's squeezing in between the layers of the skull and trapping nerves.
Soooooo, chemo is on hold while we do 5 or 10 doses of radiotherapy to try and fry it on the spot. I keep to meet the clinical oncologist (not the Princess Oncologist - she's a*medical* oncologist) on Tues to discuss and then have planning session ready for the new attack.
People are being positive - I have no perspective so am utterly lost and just being gently nudged around from pillar to post.

We finally had agreement that Fentanyl wasn't for me and am now on Morphine sulphate -
must improved although current dosage doesn't actually seem to be doing much actual pain *killing*. I would argue that if you're spending the day lying down or sitting down in very particular positions so you're comfortable and then are not able to walk around or stand comfortably, then there's still some fiddling with the dosage to do. Comes with it's own set of sfx of course: dry mouth (as in, I don't seem to be able to speak as my entire throat is stuck to itself. sorry.) Constipation on grandiose scale - there are a lot of laxatives out there and I think I'm taking all of them, together, and they're not working too well yet. I do keep pointing out that I haven't *had* food for 48 hours and this might have something of an effect but am being roundly ignored. Seems sensible to me - put nothin in, get nothin out - right?

OH - and in the respite between starting Morphine and the grand sickness that is something to do with my head; I managed to walk into an actual hairdressers and say, "I need my hair cut, I need it cutting short and I need it cutting now. Any chance?" Fortunately the answer was yes and it is Short.(sorry, crappy webcam picture.)

Don't worry - I looked much paler until they put 2 units of blood into me on Friday. Takes bloody forever (hohohoho!) Not sure I feel much better other than behaving like more of a bitch than is really my due. Sorry.

So, it's not everything - but I thought all you lovely people deserved to be kept up to date. Thank you for all your love, messages, thoughts, prayers. It's all appreciated. Ta. :) My mum arrives from the States tomorrow - thank heavens. At least she knows better than to even mention baked beans to a person who has been throwing up for 2 days and is just possibly beginning to think food might be an option......Foolish move, Dear Other, foolish move. As a general tip to the rest of the Universe - Don't Do This. Thank you.


Anonymous said...

Have made mental note not to mention the F word to you. Ever.
Quite pleased at managing the Moonwalk last night, despite feet feeling lige wood now.
One of the things they told us about were the Paxman Scalp Coolers:
Have you heard of these ? For chemo patients to help stop hair falling out. (By the look of it they have some in London). Just thought I'd mention it in case it's something you've not heard of before and think is worth investigating.
As always, lots of love, hugs and thoughts coming to you from Essex.

L xx

Sweet Camden Lass said...

Hmmm. I shall send an ice lolly (they ought to make them with extra vitamins included). Glad you managed to get out and get trimmed. You must be due books: how does Tuesday strike you?(will text & email. The Guides gave us an interesting yet still constructive evening on Friday). ~x~

Ciorstaidh said...

Good luck with the radio; apparently the thermoplastic masks are a real let-down, you don't get a choice in design or anything (at least, so says my friend Row who's hoping for another bout of radio soon, but that's been complicated by a stroke).

And hurrah for mothers, much as I complain about mine they really are our rock.


Dennis Pyritz, RN said...

Great blog! I added you to my blogroll. Also...Open invitation to you and your readers to participate in the Being Cancer Book Club. This month we are discussing “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch. “...the lecture he gave ... was about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others, of seizing every moment (because “time is all you have…and you may find one day that you have less than you think”). It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living.”
Monday is Book Club day; Tuesday Guest Blog and Friday Cancer News Roundup.
Also check out Cancer Blog Links containing over 225 blog links and Cancer Resources with 230 referenced sites, both divided into disease categories.
Please accept this invitation to join our growing cancer blogging community at
Take care, Dennis

lornagrl said...

Hope your doing okay and there is an update soon.